Deep, dark, (sometimes drunk) cultural resolutions...

These holidays have been social—a little too social for this introvert to be honest, but that’s not a bad thing.  

In the lead up to new years especially, I met a bunch of cousins’ partners, friends of friends, and somewhat random travellers. 

Invariably we’d get to the part where they’d ask what I do for mahi/work. I’d mention this here newsletter, they’d nod politely, and we’d move on.

It was later, once we’d chatted enough for them to realise I wasn’t some kind of tikanga/reo Māori/culture expert but rather just an uber nerd on the reconnection journey—and in some cases for them to get a few beers deep—that one or two would seek me out to spill their deepest darkest resolution secrets… secrets I recognised..., secrets I reckon you might too. 

“It was when my Dad passed away, it suddenly hit me—if I don’t learn all that stuff—the whakapapa, the connections, the history—it goes with that generation,” said one Māori fella between six60 songs. 

“I’ve always wanted to go to the local Matariki ceremony,” said a colleague’s Pākehā partner, “but I don’t know how it all works. Next year I’ll be prepped.”

“I was embarrassed the other day when you said ‘puku’ and I didn’t know what you meant,” said the English gym trainer at Christmas drinks. “I want to learn more te reo Māori.”

“2025 is the year I’m really going to do it,” they whispered.

Now, I’m an optimist, a wildly ambitious dreamer in fact, and everything in me wants to believe these folks will achieve their resolutions.

But as we talked, I recognised one major tohu/signal that could threaten their success.

The main reason I took so long to progress with my own cultural goals wasn’t the lack of time or access to knowledge (though they were both obstacles), it was that I didn’t think I deserved to.

Now, I could see in the way these folks secretly shared their own resolutions with me; in their hushed tones and shyness the next day, that they also felt too disconnected/too Pākehā/too foreign/too ‘insert literally any adjective here and it will work’ to deserve to achieve theirs.

Here’s the thing—they’re not being ridiculous. Talk to certain people, get deep enough into the comments section, listen out for it, and we’ll find people of all backgrounds and positions confirming our fears in this space, which (even if you know they’re just being a bit of a dick) is extremely hard to move past.

But there are also people out there doing the exact opposite; sharing messages that disconnected Māori don’t just deserve to go home but the Māori world NEEDS them to (Rawiri Waititi), that people of all backgrounds are welcome to learn Māori skills (Hetet Māori School of Art) and that it’s a good thing when non Māori learn te reo (Stacey Morrison).

The trick then, to achieving our deepest, darkest, (sometimes drunkest) cultural resolutions? 

It's unoriginal but true e hoa mā; haters gon' hate, listen to the second lot.