Don't do this if you want to fit in with the Māori home crowd 🤦🏽🤦🏽
Kia ora e te whānau,
Nau mai, hoki mai ki Te Arawhata—the fitting in edition!
Fitting in with any ‘home crowd’ can be challenging.
Fitting in with a Māori home crowd—who run their own tikanga, speak their own dialect, and have literally known each other’s families for centuries—can be EXTRA challenging, even for the most culturally connected.
You know what helps? Spending time listening, learning, and showing respect. But also… stories to remind us we’re not the only ones finding it uaua/hard! And this wiki e hoa mā, we’ve got you covered on that front.
GREAT picks from the Māori creatorverse sharing first-time marae visits, intercultural friendships, and lessons from legends ahead. Plus a great example of what NOT to do from us.
Tuatahi/Firstly, me pata koe i te rēwena/you should butter the rēwena because it’s time for talk of the tāone.
- Louis Baker dropped a new track and it’s seriously, ‘So Good’ 😉.
- Must-see exhibitions are lighting up Te Whanganui-a-Tara/Wellington and Ōtautahi/Christchurch.
- Maungarongo Te Kawa has designed these stunning, limited-edition tīhate/t-shirts to fundraise for a very deserving kura/school.
- Album #8 of Troy Kingi’s ambitious 10.10.10 series is here!
- A national call to action has been launched by OG Māori activators.
- 'Whakanuia’ hits Whakaata Māori tonight with a fun-filled special honoring two beloved cultural icons.
When Louisa starts at the ‘School for Incorrigible and Delinquent Girls’ she doesn’t understand the Māori concept for ‘kaihana’/‘cousins’, who aren’t like… your first cousins in the Pākehā sense, but… your cousins. Kei te mōhio?/You know? As she forms a tight group with Nellie and Daisy, they show her first-hand and accomplish some (WELL worth a choc-top splash out) mahi mātātoa/adventures together along the way.
Find it: at a cinema near you I Time: 82mins I Cost: $15 or so I Credits: directed by; Josephine Stewart-Te Whiu, produced by; Morgan Waru and Polly Fryer, starring; Rima Te Wiata, Erana James, Nathalie Morris, Manaia Hall.
Geneva AM is a kōhanga kid (and talented musician) who proudly calls Grey Lynn home and has never been to her marae. Kindly supported by Kahu Kutia, she embarks on the haerenga/journey here alongside her Māori pāpā/dad and Pākehā tungāne/brother. We LOVED her honest narration, including a refreshing point, that being ‘disconnected’ does not necessarily mean ‘ngaro’/’lost’.
Find it: on spotify I Time: 30mins I Cost: free with your account I Credits: the podcast is hosted by Kahu Kutia and features Geneva AM.
Covering all the biggest creation legends, this pukapuka/book is an intriguing reminder that even the Māori gods—including Papatūānuku, Tāne Māhuta, Māui, and Hine-tītama—faced internal pakanga/battles around fitting in. There’s got to be something in the fact they all ended up standing out anyway, nē? Same with the clever kaituhi/writers telling their stories here with such daring, modern flair.
Find it: at all good bookstores I Time: 400 pages worth I Cost: $38 I Credits: edited by Witi Ihimaera and Whiti Hereaka.
‘He Māori koe?’/Are you Māori?’ is a perfectly fine pātai/question to ask. It’s the follow up (for which many of our Māori readers will instinctively brace), ’What percentage?’ that can stir up some feels. Feels that Isaac explores the heck out of through waiata, comedy, and theatre in this show. Tickets for the whole fam kia ora/please and kia ora/thank you.
Find it: at ONEONESIX, Whangārei l Time: 1hour I Cost: from $23 I Credits: written and performed by Isaac Martyn.
*Want to hear about Māori events like this in YOUR region? Follow your dedicated ‘Haere’ instagram page: Northland, Auckland, Waikato, Bay of Plenty,Taranaki, Gisborne/Hawke’s Bay, Manawatū/Whanganui,Wellington, Nelson/Tasman/Marlborough, Canterbury/West Coast, Otago, Southland.
My initial idea for this deepdive was to get a bunch of advice from Māori who sit deep in the folds of their communities on how the rest of us might better connect in.
‘Go home and talk with your kaumātua,’ is the classic tohutohu/instruction for Māori on the reconnection journey.
‘Make sure you engage with the local Māori community,’ the Pākehā and Tauiwi version.
But e hika, it’s not always as easy as it sounds!
In our fantasies we turn up to open arms from friends and whānau welcoming us in, aunties chucking us a tea towel to join them in the kitchen, and kaumātua inviting us to sit at their knees and listen to their stories.
In reality, we’re turning up to walk around the marae gates and stare in at locals who could be friends or whānau but have their hands quite full just keeping things running, let alone leading weekend tours.
Nō reira/And so, I wanted to know HOW we can all connect. Like exactly. In the form of a kaumātua approved, quick and easy ‘do’s and don’ts’ list.
I sent two relatives, who pretty much run the marae at home, a text with a few questions and a request for a 20 min phone interview. This week, if possible.
And (many of you will already see it) that right there is where I went wrong.
See, the thing is… I haven’t actually been home or spoken to these family members in about eight months. And even though I KNEW it wasn’t very tika/correct or cool to just phone in for a favour after a gap like that, I was so stressed about hitting my deadline, I convinced myself it’d be ok. They’d understand the life pressures keeping me away and that the kaupapa was a good cause…
Yeah… well, they gave me a ‘do’s and don’ts’ list alright, but not in the form of the quick and concise interview I’d envisioned.
One of my relatives didn’t text back. The other did with a kind but firm suggestion we meet kanohi ki te kanohi/face to face (which would clearly occur outside my deadline). Gracious and full of manaakitanga as always, they offered me a bed and dinner.
The loud and clear message between the lines?
If you really want to fit in with Māori communities:
DON’T expect a quick fix (especially if you haven’t shown up for months). It simply does not exist.
DO show up, face-to-face, often, to form proper reciprocal relationships.
Lesson learned. I’m going down tomorrow.
Was it an embarrassing slip up? Āe/Yes. Am I filled with whakamā about it and deeply considering deleting it from this morning’s issue? Absolutely, āe.
But there’s another lesson in here for anyone still cringing on my behalf and perhaps feeling a little discouraged. Being corrected like this IS the journey e hoa mā. Like Mr Miyagi, our whānau and friends do it to guide us, because they care and want us to learn. And while it might make us feel like we don’t fit in at times, it’s really saying quite the opposite.
(Though let me be clear, I highly recommend listening and for the love of god—not doing it again 😅.)
Onwards together e te whānau.
We hope this newsletter helped you to enjoy, learn more about, and deepen your connection with te ao Māori today (and saved you from potential future cultural faux pas).
Hei ā tērā wiki!/Till next week!
